My hair reeks of homosexuality.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
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I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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