Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
