Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The air was thick with penises
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
