If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
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