Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize