We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
