your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
