Duck Duck Cougar?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize