like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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