there was a trapeze. enough said
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
