I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
