Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Randomize
