So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
