I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I touched a dick in church today
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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