I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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