i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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