We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
