6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
