Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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