I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize