I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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