Betty ford says i'm here all night
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
