He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
i believe in u and ur pee
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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