Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize