There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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