One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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