How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I could fuck to npr.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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