god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
