So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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