i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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