Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
