There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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