I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
