I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
