I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
