Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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