How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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