I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize