you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
