I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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