I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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