we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize