Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
