After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
