You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
barbara walters just said penis...
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
