My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
