So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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