This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
