Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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