Have you finally orgasmed yet?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
FUCK WHALES
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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