its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
