haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
