I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
