he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
