belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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