I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
